


Lost In The Light

by halfsweet



Series: Bingo Challenge [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Omega Verse, Post-Break Up, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 20:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18630931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfsweet/pseuds/halfsweet
Summary: Brendon fucked up.





	Lost In The Light

**Author's Note:**

> back with a NON-PARENTHOOD AU fic! bet some of you are like "ugh FINALLY. i can't stand another fluffy parenthood au. istg if she posts ANOTHER parenthood au im gonna-" so here's some angst! :D
> 
> also this is a part of a bingo challenge i'm doing with @I_Dream_In_Electric_Blue, and i'm really excited! hope you guys enjoy this one!

_ “Yeah, that’s it.” Brendon groaned at the wet warmth enveloping him, and he tugged at Patrick’s hair in appreciation and pleasure. “God, Ry, you’re so good.” _

_ “What did you just call me?” _

_ Brendon’s heart stopped when he realized what he just did. He looked down at Patrick, his brows furrowed, but his eyes…  _

_ “I—” Brendon plastered on a smile and cradled his face. “Baby. What’s wrong?” _

_ Patrick turned his head to the side and looked at the wall, his expression shuttered. “Nothing. Forget about it.” _

_ When Patrick continued where he left off, Brendon made sure to keep his mouth shut this time. That had been too close. _

_ “That was amazing.” Brendon let out a happy sigh as he ran his fingers through Patrick’s hair before helping him wipe his mouth with a tissue. Then, he grinned at Patrick, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. “Why don’t you lay down and let me take care of you?” _

_ Avoiding his gaze, Patrick got up and straightened his shirt. “I should go. It’s getting late.” _

_ Brendon checked the time on his phone and frowned. “But it’s barely eight.” _

_ “Yeah.” Patrick nodded, but he’s already halfway to the door. “Good night.” _

_ The door closed with a click after Patrick left. Brendon’s still staring at the door, confused by what just happened.  _

-

_ “I think we should break up.” _

_ Brendon blinked. This… was unexpected. “Oh.”  _

_ Patrick opened his mouth, like he’s about to say something, but shook his head at the last second. “Yeah. Goodbye, Brendon.” _

_ He didn’t feel anything when Patrick walked away from him. He wasn’t feeling numb, a little shocked maybe, but he… didn’t feel anything. He didn’t feel sad. He didn’t feel heartbreak. He just felt normal. _

_ He turned around, walking the other way, phone already in his hand and dialing Ryan. _

-

That was five years ago. 

Patrick broke up with him five years ago.

And reality and heartbreak only hit him four years ago. A year after Patrick left him.

Four years of regret, suffering, wishing he could undo everything. 

Four years of silence from Patrick. Four years of pining after Patrick. Four years of everything Patrick.

He’s not at all shocked when Ryan broke up with him. Their relationship was going nowhere. 

“You look fucking horrible.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Checking up on you.” Pete frowns as he takes in his surroundings. “You really wasted your life away, huh?”

“If you’re here to tell me  _ ‘I told you so’ _ , save your breath.” Brendon lifts the beer bottle in his hand to his lips and take a long sip. “I know I fucked up.”

“Good. That makes my job easier.” Pete smirks. “Where’s Ryan? He’s all over you the last time I saw him.”

Brendon shrugs and takes another swig of his beer. “Don’t know, don’t care.”

“Did he dump you?” Pete pulls out a bar stool, sitting across Brendon. “Because I would. You’re a mess.”

Brendon lifts his head, eyes glaring dagger at him as his jaws clench. Pete stares back at him, unfazed. He knows he made a mistake, and the last thing he needs is Pete rubbing everything in his face. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion.”

Pete leans forward as if trying to read him, and Brendon half wants to retreat back to his bedroom while the other half wants to take everything out on Pete. The only thing that keeps him on leash is the half-empty bottle of beer in his hand. 

“You and Ryan broke up.” Pete states, unblinking. “Wow. Can’t say that I didn’t see it coming.”

Ignoring her, Brendon downs the whole bottle in one go before opening another one.

“What’s up? Did you two get tired of each other?”

Pete’s taunting voice ignites a fire in his chest. He knows Pete’s just trying to rile him up, considering what he did to Patrick. Pete and Patrick have always had a special bond, and even if Pete’s his family, Pete would always have Patrick’s back just the way Patrick would have Pete’s.

…and just the way he used to have Patrick’s.

“You’re no fun when you’re all gloomy.” Pete sighs and leans back in his seat, then grabs a beer, taking a small sip of it. “I was on my way from Patrick’s place earlier. At least he gave me a good entertainment.”

Brendon’s head snaps up at the name. “You saw Patrick? How is he?”

Pete arches an eyebrow as he calmly takes another sip, his gaze steady on him. “He’s doing better than you, that much I can say.”

Shoulders slumped, Brendon casts his gaze downwards on the counter. That’s… good. That’s a relief to know. Patrick deserves that. 

“Is he—” Brendon clears his throat as a spark of hope ignites in his chest. “Is he still single?”

“Brendon…” Pete puts his bottle down to place his hand on top of Brendon’s. When Brendon looks up, Pete’s eyes are full of pity, and his insides feel heavy. “Why did you and Ryan break up?”

He looks back down at his hands, throat closing up at the thought of Patrick. How he screwed up the best thing that ever happened to him. He has no one else to blame for his past actions. He was just like any other alphas then: proud and greedy. Proud that omegas were interested in him and greedy that one omega wasn’t enough for him.

If he could, he would turn back time to 5 years ago and kick his own ass for being  _ so stupid _ to cheat on Patrick and let him go.

“Because I miss him, Pete.” He closes his eyes, the back of his eyelids stinging as his voice wavers, overwhelmed by the intense emotions swirling inside him. It  _ physically  _ aches him to even comprehend how much he misses Patrick, let alone talk about it. “I want— no, I need him back. I made a lot of mistakes, but doing all those things to Patrick… I’ve never hated anyone as much as I hate myself right now.”

Pete walks around the counter and wraps his arms around him, stroking his back. Brendon leans into him as he squeezes his eyes shut, preventing any tears from falling even though his shoulders are wracked with stifled sobs. “I want to see him again, Pete.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Brendon.” Pete says softly as he rubs his arm up and down. “What you need right now is to pull yourself together.”

Brendon clings to his hand and looks at Pete in the eye, pleading. Desperate. “Pete, please. I know what I did was wrong, but it made me realize just how much I love Patrick.”

Pete pulls back from him, mouth curled into a small frown. “That’s fucked up, you know that, right?”

“Pete…”

Pete shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Brendon. I can’t let you see him.”

Brendon opens his mouth to argue, but Pete’s quick to continue. “You hurt him, Brendon. You weren’t there with him after the break up. You were quick to move on with the guy you cheated on him with. What did you think he was supposed to feel?”

He looks down at the floor, shame coursing through him. Pete was right. Patrick has every right to feel hurt and angry. Patrick has every right to not want to see him again. Patrick has every right to…

…to stop loving him.

“Look, you’re still my friend, despite what happened. So I’m just going to say this as gently as possible,” Pete clasps his hand on Brendon’s shoulders, giving it a squeeze, “you need to forget Patrick and let him go.”

He tenses. Let Patrick go? “That’s not—”

“Brendon, it took Patrick  _ a year  _ to move on from you. If he sees you again…” Pete trails off and shakes his head, leaving his sentence hanging. “I don’t want him to see like that again.”

“You won’t.” Brendon insists, voice becoming increasingly desperate. “You won’t have to see him like that again because I’ll treat him better this time around, and I…”

He stops himself at the look in Pete’s eyes, and his chest feels tight. “I won’t hurt him again, Pete. That’s a promise.”

Pete lets go of him and stands up straight with a sigh. “You should go to sleep. Get some rest.”

“Pete, no.” He scrambles up to his feet to stop Pete from leaving. “Please, I need him back. I love him.”

“He’s with someone else now.” Pete’s tone is firm, but then his eyes soften. Another pity stare. “Brendon, he’s happy. If you really love him, leave him be.”

He understands that Pete’s only trying to protect Patrick, but it’s not fair. He can turn everything around. He can make Patrick happier. Scratch that, he _will_ make Patrick happier. He _will_ treat him better. And he _will_ give him everything he deserves. He’ll give all of his love to Patrick and they’ll be together again, getting married and having kids and growing old together. 

They’ll be everything they;d ever dreamed of.

“Go to sleep, Brendon. I’ll come by again tomorrow.” Pete pats his shoulder before leaving him all alone in the kitchen. Empty. Just the way he felt before.  _ Has  _ been feeling.

Silence fills the apartment, except for the sound of his quiet sniffles.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are loved and appreciated :)


End file.
